The Body Knows
- May 24
- 2 min read
Let’s normalize choosing ourselves before the body is forced to pay the price. Because the truth is, love should not cost you your health. Period.
Once you read the work of Dr. Gabor Maté on the connection between chronic stress and illness, you can’t unknow it. You begin to realize that the kind of stress that comes from living in a home you are anxious returning to, or being in a relationship where you’re constantly walking on eggshells, doesn’t just affect your emotions… it affects the body too.
Your body was never designed to live in constant fight-or-flight, waiting for the next activation, shutdown, disappointment, or emotional wound. It was designed for safety. For rest. For laughter. For softness. For peace.
And while leaving unhealthy dynamics can be one of the hardest things a person will ever do, there is something sacred that happens when we finally stop abandoning ourselves to keep others comfortable. The nervous system begins to exhale. The body begins to trust again. Healing finally has space to enter.
Most of us have been taught to override their body and focus on chemistry, attraction, potential, or whether the other person likes them. But the nervous system often notices safety long before the mind does.
Try this silently upon meeting someone:
-Is my breathing deeper or more shallow?
-Do my shoulders soften or tense?
-Does my stomach feel calm, tight, heavy, nauseous, contracted?
-Am I performing, people-pleasing, shrinking, or hyperaware?
-Do I feel more grounded after being around them, or depleted/confused?
And after spending time with that person, check in:
-Do I feel regulated or dysregulated?
-Clear or confused?
-Energized or drained?
-More connected to myself or farther away from myself?
-Peaceful… or like I need to recover?
May we become more discerning about who we allow close to our hearts, minds, and bodies. May we choose relationships that nourish instead of deplete. May we remember that protecting our peace is not selfish, it is survival. And may more people come to understand that choosing environments, relationships, and connections that support our wellbeing is one of the deepest acts of self-love and sovereignty there is.
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